We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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