the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Shame is for Republicans.
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