i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize