At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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