now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
