it hurts more in the daytime
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
