I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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