Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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