Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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