please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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