Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
