Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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