i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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