32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
