I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
