i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
