Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
