I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize
