In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
