Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Damn victory sex feels great
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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