Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Be still, my beating vagina.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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