my soul wont recognize me after tonight
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
