Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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