My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
