what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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