ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
