if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
