lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
