Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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