Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
