Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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