im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
