you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
