I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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