Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
