OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So many bounce houses so little time
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
