He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
