your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
