i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
