i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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