There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
you had me at cake vodka
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
