I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
