Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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