I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
