omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
