This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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