Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it's like heaven, but drunker
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
