I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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