Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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