If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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