Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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