i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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