I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
