Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize