peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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