Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
