After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
