it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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