After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Randomize
