I love black thongs
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
