I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
