I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
3pm strippers are depressing
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
