I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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